Grief, loss, separation and relationship problems, career setbacks, family upheaval, health crisis’ …..

All of which can leave us in a dark place of overwhelm, brain, fog, depletion and a sense that we have lost our direction, dragging our feet through mud with life tipped out.

• We are doing our best to hold it together, hanging on by a thread.
• Giving into everyone needs leaving ours last on the list.
• Putting on a brave face to cover the fatigue.

With a turn of a New Year there is always a sense of hope that perhaps our challenges are left behind in the year that’s gone. The page has turned and it’s time to simply start a new chapter.

However, let’s be real here. The passing of a year does not always close the door on our problems.

Sometimes it can feel like life setbacks are in your way and you need a survival guide, right?

Well, here are my top five tips to help women navigate life‘s challenges and setbacks this year.

NUMBER ONE- Know you’re worthy.

Too often when we reflect and ruminate over past events, we have an internal dialogue that shares “if only…”.

• If only…. I done something differently. Said something differently.
• If only I’d changed this decision. Chosen a different path.
• If only I’d tried harder. Backed off. Spoken up. Kept quiet.
• If only I’d listened to my heart. Trusted my intuition.
• If only….

The self-blame dialogue soon follows, this is my fault, which only leads us toward the internal belief that I am not worthy of joy, love, appreciation, or connection.

This internal dialogue of self-blame only serves to keep us stuck, undeserving of any forward movement toward joy.

Stop right there ladies. Take a deep breath. Repeat after me.

Whatever I have or have not done I am worthy of love.

Life unravels, falls apart and comes together. So many pieces are beyond our control. Self-blame and criticism makes the ride soooooo much harder.

Pause, breathe, you were doing your best and know you are worthy of love.

NUMBER TWO- Take time for self-care

I’m too busy for that!

Whaaaatt?

• Too busy for a glass of water or better nutrition?
• Too busy for a 5 minute meditation to calm your nervous system?
• Too busy for a 15 min walk, run or dance to move your body?
• Too busy for an early night, better sleep?
• Too busy to do something that brings you joy?

The problem is we think self-care needs to be grand. A deluxe holiday in the Bahamas with daily massages. Yes that would be nice!

BUT the small, simple and basic steps in self-care mean you have more energy, feel less depleted and are able to cope with the day.

Self-care needs to fall into three main pillars.

• Your body health – sleep, nutrition, exercise
• Your mind health- stress management, mindset, self-talk
• Your heart health- emotional regulation, finding joy and connection

Where do you need some simple self-care steps? A toddler cannot cope when they are tired, hungry or feeling disconnected. Neither can we.

NUMBER THREE – Know your values and live congruently with them

• This might mean digging deep and getting clear on your values.
• This might mean learning to say no to pieces in your life that are not congruent with what you value.
• This might mean…. gasp….. setting boundaries.

Too often the women I work with share that they have lost themselves, their heart felt sense of what they value. They’ve lost trust in themselves. They have put everyone else’s needs above their own for so long that their own values are buried deep in the rubble- hidden and unacknowledged.

In the Rise UP program I help women take a deep dive into uncovering their own values once more, which serves to find direction, build confidence and purpose. Learning to then set boundaries so we can live congruently with our values is the next step.

NUMBER FOUR – Stop the comparison  

With others. The glossy instagram poses, the filtered facebook updates, the life that looks so good over there.  

Trust me each and every woman in those posts has her own battle and we are all just doing our best. Comparing yourself to someone else can be a recipe for the emotional rollercoaster of jealousy, resentment and a feeling of isolation.

With the life you think should be. If only I had …

• A better body (taller, shorter, fitter, curvier)
• A better job (less hours, more hours, earlier starts, later mornings, less stress, more ownership, less pressure, more fulfillment)
• A better partner (more quality time, more space, more listening, less judgement…)

The list goes on, right?

If I wasn’t where I am now and if all of those pieces were different, then my life would be grand.

When you compare where you are to where you feel you should be, that can create a cascade of anxiety.

That’s not to say you should not have realistic goals to aim for. But these should be firmly grounded in the now, with acceptance and appreciation for where you are, without the constant comparison of how you feel things should be.

Not so easy!

Sometimes this comes down to mindset. Sometimes this comes down to changing your perception of your current circumstances. This always comes down to a seed of gratitude.

I guide women through mindset, self-talk, calming the emotional rollercoaster and getting clear on perceptions during our Rise UP program.

Many women share that they feel a sense of clarity, confidence and courage once more after completing our program. Suddenly they loosen the grip of constant comparison and find their own direction once more. Want to hear what other women have to say about the Rise UP program? Watch this!

NUMBER FIVE – Congratulate yourself

Too often we look ahead at how far we feel we have to go, without pausing to acknowledge and appreciate how far we have come.

There is no harsher critic than self. This only serves to anchor us down, slow our momentum, create a stall. Give yourself a break, reward yourself, back yourself as well as the others around you.

Ask yourself good questions to help appreciate how far you’ve come.

• What have been my wins?
• What has worked so far?
• Where have my successes been, no matter how big or small?
• What do I trust within myself?
• What positive steps have I made so far?
• What am I most proud of about myself?
• What am I most grateful for?

I hope this gives YOU the early steps you need to navigate challenges this year. Lots of love Niky

Like to learn more about developing resilience through life challenges?

Niky offer’s her Rise UP program for women online as well as her within her four day Rise UP retreat.

• Find out more about her retreats here
• Learn more about her online program with this free resource to help women transform grief to resilience here
• Listen in to the Synergy Women podcast here

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