• Two steps forward three steps back.
• Get on the right track, then slip into old habits and go back to square one.
• Dream of being healthier, fitter, more organised, more efficient and more socially connected but…. you’ll start that tomorrow. After you finish this Netflix series.

Welcome to self-sabotage ladies.

We all know the changes we need to make the steps we need to take, but the hurdle of self-sabotage gets in our way.

Self-sabotage is “anything we do that moves us away from being aligned with our values. Anything that gets in the way of what we need or want to be doing” Rebecca Ray

There are some key habits that contribute to self-sabotage. Let’s explore this.

• Lack of self-care. Your nutrition, your sleep health, your ability to exercise your ability to manage stress and regulate your emotions with body, mind and heart. Health habits are all key in helping you with your own self-care. Ignoring your own self-care is a key self sabotage habit that will only leave you depleted, lacking in motivation and stressed. Much like refuelling your car, you need basic care in order to keep your momentum rolling! We never find ourselves saying we’re too busy to re-fuel the car. Nor do we say that putting petrol in the engine is a decadent experience that we’re not worthy of. Self-care is number one.
• Attempting to fulfil other people’s expectations. Would you like to make some positive changes in your life, but you’re worried about letting someone down? This makes you hesitate and stall, loop back to being the old version of you?
• Worrying in a loop. Future fears and worries can create havoc when trying to move forward with positive changes in your life. What would the voice of encouragement and confidence have to share with you?
• Criticism and blame toward yourself or others. Another mind loop based on past regrets that only takes up mine space and prevents you moving forward.
• Perfectionism. I’ll start this when it’s perfect. When they happy with it. When I’m feeling better. On the right date at the right time, when the colours are right, when the moon is right. Sound familiar? Perfectionism can create a stall and is another self-sabotage habit, which is based on seeking the approval of others. Ask yourself, whose judgement am I fearing? Ask yourself, whose approval am I seeking? Perfectionism is also closely linked with procrastination and fear of vulnerability with trying new things.

Like to learn ways of overcoming self-sabotage habits? Need some time out to rest, reflect and form a pathway forward for yourself?

Like to learn more from Niky?

Don’t forget she runs resilience retreats and programs for women who are navigating life challenges or grief. Find out more about her Rise UP women’s retreats here!

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