We are all familiar with the feeling of being at breaking point.
Breaking point can look like complete overwhelm. Suddenly everything is foggy, you feel forgetful, you can’t find your car keys and life feels tipped out and messy.
Breaking point can feel like lack of motivation, a deep fatigue, walking through mud.
For other women reaching a breaking point can feel like a build up of anxiety, like a frantic mouse on the wheel where your whole nervous system winds up into high alert causing a lack of sleep and a feeling of despair.
Reaching a breaking point can sound like being reactive, snappy, short fused with friends family or complete strangers.
Are you at breaking point?
There are several reasons that women will start to head towards they’re breaking point.
The first reason is commonly a complete lack of self-care. This can happen when women habitually put others needs first and leave their needs last on the list. If you if you have neglected your own self care of your body health, your mind health or your heart health for a long period of time you become depleted. And soon that depletion means that you have no fuel in the tank. No capacity to give. Nothing left to be able to cope with the simplest of problems let alone greater life challenges. Read more here about the common beliefs that prevent women from looking after their health with self care.
The next reason that women will head towards at breaking point is when their values have been crossed or they are not living congruently with their values.
Your values can be considered in two ways.
Dr Demartini’s work will share that we have seven value areas in life which include:
- Mental (learning)
- Physical health
- Social connections, causes and influence
If you live congruently within the area’s that you value most, you are less likely to reach a breaking point.
However, if you have been constantly battling, trying to live in someone else’s value area or living a life that is not congruent with what you value, eventually a breaking point arrives.
The other way of looking at value areas is to consider Brene Brown ‘s work.
She has a long list of value traits of which women will hold often two or three close to our hearts. Those value traits can include optimism, openness, teamwork, success, beauty, authenticity, ambition, compassion, confidence, humility, recognition, well-being, leadership, knowledge, self-discipline, authenticity, integrity, grace, gratitude, growth.
If you have been living outside of your value areas and if you have not been living congruently with the value traits you hold most dearly or if someone has stepped on your values you will soon reach a breaking point.
But does your breaking point need to lead to breakdown or can it become a breakthrough?
Helping your breakdown become a breakthrough a few steps are needed.
- Press pause. That might look like time out for an afternoon, a weekend away or a retreat space for yourself. Letting the dust settle and allowing the objective part of the brain to catch up means you make decisions with clarity and not reactivity
- Nurture your own body, mind and heart health pillars. We all know which area of our health is most depleted. It might be your body health- your nutrition, your sleep patterns or your exercise. It might be your mind health and your stress management. It might be your heart health and your social support. Whatever you need to support YOU, start taking steps to refuel the tank.
- Understand your values and stay true to them. If you hold true to your values and live congruently with them as well as nurturing your own self care you have a higher chance of your breaking point to become a breakthrough.
What does a breakthrough look like?
A breakthrough looks like learning to say no. Setting boundaries. Forging up your own pathway.
A breakthrough feels like looking at a closed door but feeling free.
A breakthrough feels like clarity, lightness, grace.
Like to learn more? Watch this podcast here
Would you like your breaking point to become a breakthrough? Join us on one of our Rise UP Women’s Retreats- find out more here