Setting boundaries and saying no…

Too often in a woman’s life she can find herself giving too much, putting others needs first, leaving her on needs last on the list.


In a time of challenge, crisis, grief or overwhelm your tanks are already running low and it’s time to refuel.

Without the strength, courage and skills to say no and set boundaries, soon you can find yourself with an empty tank. An empty tank can mean cascade of problems including difficulties with emotional regulation, falling into unhealthy habits to try and cope or stress related illness.

That means learning to say no, set boundaries, state what YOU need. (Without the apology ladies!)

That could sound like:

  • “Thanks for the invite, I’ll pass on that today as I need some down time. But I look forward to catching up next time”
  • “I’m unable to complete that in that time frame, perhaps you could ask X to help on this one?”
  • “No that doesn’t work for me. I am able to offer X but not Y”
  • “I have a few things on my plate right now, so I’ll say no to that. I hope it goes well”

That could look like:

  • The house is a mess, but I’m heading to the gym or for a run I need to get some exercise.
  • I haven’t done the washing and the dogs need a walk, but I am pressing pause and taking a long bath and listening to some music to calm my nervous system and refuel.
  • My email inbox is overflowing, work is crazy and my morning coffee is calling to get me through this. But I am going to spend 20 mins doing yoga and meditation- that comes first.

That could feel like:

  • Yes.
  • Calm.
  • Energised.
  • Invigorated.
  • Rested.
  • Brilliant.
  • Healthy.
  • Balanced.
  • Ready to give.

There are so many beliefs and reasons that women choose to out others first. Read more about the beliefs that hold women back here.

But learning the art of skilfully, tactfully, unapologetically saying no, makes room for your own refuel and resilience.

Where do you need to set boundaries?

Need some refuel time? Find out more about NIky’s Rise UP Womens Retreats here